Farewell

I wonder if, before we were born, we were as afraid of life as we are now are of death?
      ~Jay Williams 

Roberta Louise Bajus
Rest in Peace

A wild, chaotic, emotional month. On June 12 I went to Seattle to help my 83-year-old mother negotiate some medical appointments for a urinary tract infection that wouldn't go away. On June 23rd my sister and I sat with her while she drew her last breath, 9 days after the doctors discovered that she had cancer. 

We were woefully unprepared every step of the way, attempting to meet each phase of this speeded-up process as it came. Anger that the primary care doctor had not paid attention over the last few months; then hospitalization and tests and decisions; then finding a care home and setting up hospice care; moving; and then finding a funeral home. 

And then the exhausting clean up and the myriad of details that follow. 

I would like to write more about my mother, but now is not the time. I'm home now, settling in and thinking about family and history and time and other deep stuff. But mostly I'm cleaning house and being grateful for my sister and my husband and my daughter. And grateful to you, my readers, who sent such lovely words of support. 

Comments

[Gale]

Wishing you the best on getting through this trying time. The words are a bit clumsy, but the sentiment is there.

[JoVE]

More words of support. What a whirlwind.

[Laura]

I am so sorry for your loss, Janine.

[--Deb]

Oh, I am so, so sorry.

[Suzanne]

When you do feel up to it, do write more about your mom. With you in spirit.

[Carol Perecman]

So sorry to hear about your mom. Went through similar, know how hard it is...I hope you find peace in your memories.

Carol

[Colleen]

I'm so sorry. I hope settling in at home is comforting.

[Stephanie]

Hugs to you, Janine.

[Joan]

Janine, I am so, so sorry about your mother. It was good that you were able to spend time with her, as short a time as it was.
Take care, you are in my thoughts.

[Karen]

So sorry for your loss, Janine. Warm wishes to you and all your family.

[(formerly) no-blog-rachel]

I'm so sorry. Sending love and good wishes your way.

[M-H]

How awful this has been. I hope you can write more in time. Take care.

[Francesca]

I am very sorry about your mother and for how quickly it all happened. Best wishes to you and your family while you come to terms with your loss.

[Gail]

You gave me hope and courage as I went through my mother's death. Thank you for all you gave me. Now I wish it all back to you and your loved ones. I am so sorry for your loss.

[Barbara M.]

How terrible.... and yet, how lucky you were to be able to be there with her. When my mother died, she was in California and I was in Chicago, with 3 small children. I flew out to be with her for a few days, then had to leave as I couldn't be away from the little ones for too long. Saying goodbye, knowing it was forever, and getting on that airplane was the hardest thing for me. I have always wished I could have been there with her at the end.

So sorry for your loss..... there is never enough time to say goodbye, is there?

[Simone Niemczura]

My deepest sympathies are with you and your family at this time.

[Marji]

Peace be with you.

[India]

So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself now.

Sometime, when you have less on your mind, perhaps you could tell me where you got the quote at the head of this post? A dear and special family friend when I was growing up was Jay Williams, the author of wonderful children's books as well as adult mysteries, history, you name it. I'm wondering if he is the one you quote.

[Judy in MT]

Sincere sympathy at this difficult time.

[Penny]

Just wait. When you are ready you will write more. Til then, remember.